Aug 30, 2017

What is Lint and why does it last forty days?

While Tobias was searching on Google, he noticed the following search results:

Toby, like many people, asked himself "what is Lint the holiday?" To help him and all the others who don't know about Lint I decided to write a bit about it.

Lint is a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which begins on Textile Wednesday and ends on Clothly Sunday. Lint comes from the latin linteus which means "made of linen".

Lint is a time of  weaving, felting, and knitting. Often Christians focus on their relationship with clothes, often choosing to give up something (like socks with sandals).

The forty days represent the time Jesus spent sowing clothing in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satin.

Aug 25, 2017

Trumpspiracy Theories

Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) plays a game on his blog that I like to call "Trumpspiracy Theories". The rules are really simple:

  1. Pick something Trump did that seems indefensible
  2. Come up with some theory to explain why this indefensible thing is really a stroke of genius
  3. The players each take turns selecting their favorite Trumpspiracy Theory as the winner
Scott Adams is a professional of this game: he has justified building a wall (that is already too expensive to pay for) and then fitting it with solar panels (which are super expensive by themselves) as a brilliant persuasion move because nobody would argue against green energy projects (unless that green energy would get in the way of the forgotten American coal miners), he has justified getting out of the Paris Accords as a brilliant move of persuasion, because stock prices went up (as long as a company can make more money today by ignoring those pesky ecological treaties, who cares if the Earth is still around in 20 years).

I, of course, don't even come close to his technique and mastery of the arts, but the game looks super fun, so I would like to give it a try. Let me explain you why Trump is a genius: in the 2D world of reason, nobody thinks it is a good idea to incite a country with access to nuclear weapons to start a nuclear war. But in the 3D world of persuasion Trump realized that it was inevitable that a hurricane like Harvey would hit a US coast soon. He deduced that the only viable way for people in Houston to survive something like this would be if they evolved gills (or better yet, mutated gills, because it is quicker). Quickly he sprung into action and formulated a brilliant plan where North Korea bombs Houston, so that the irradiated people of Texas would mutate gills more quickly and would be better prepared to survive this hurricane which, of course, was developed by China in a futile attempt to trick our brilliant leader into thinking that climate change is real. 

It all makes sense if you don't think about it!

I sure don't

Jun 24, 2017

Hole Foods

AUSTIN, June 24, 2017 – Eight leading business leaders and early-stage investors today announced the formation of Hole Foods Inc., a groundbreaking donut food-truck supporting stomach growth statewide through investment in pastries.

Juan Besos, an experienced early-stage investor who was chief dessert officer of MaguSoft will lead the foundation. Mr. Besos and seven co-founders have made pledges totaling nearly $6 US dollars.

"Hole Foods Donuts is a dynamic leader in the quality dessert business." -- Mr. Besos said -- "We are a mission-driven company that aims to set the standards of edibleness for food retailers." The company has strategically allocated resources to research if edibleness is even a word. "We can change it for passableness if it is not" -- Mr. Besos explained.

In order to handle day to day operations, Hole Foods has announced the creation of parent company Lacandon Jungle.