Jun 6, 2015

Boldly Running

Lincoln Chafee announced he wanted to run for the Democratic bid under a platform of "bold ideas" including the idea of switching to using the metric system.

While discussing this at work someone mentioned that the idea of using standardized units would not be well received by the general American population, to the point where that single idea could have cost him the nomination.

I am hoping that some Republican candidate realizes that the issue is polarizing and decides to run under a platform of "bold ideas", including the idea of switching to units which are even further away from the metric system.

To help that hypothetical Republican candidate in his nomination I want to submit a proposal to change the unit of energy from Calories to horsepower per hour (or horses for short).

This has many benefits; for example: horsepower per hour is a bigger unit than calories, so instead of eating hundreds of calories we will be eating only half a horse (note: call this a pony). I am sure this will boost morale and have a positive effect on people who overeat.

And so that people get accustomed to the change, some meals in horses:

  • Bruléed French Toast from Cheesecake Factory -- 4.33 horses 
  • Big Hook Up from Joe-s Crab Shack -- 5.11 horses 
  • New York Steak "Contadina style" from Maggiano's  -- 3.77 horses.
  • Deep Dish Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza from BJ's -- 3.36 horses
  • Large Chocolate Oreo Shake from Baskin-Robbins -- 4.05 horses