Mar 30, 2013


The brush sailed on her hair, every stroke creating waves in an ocean, every hair hiding treasure. She didn't know she was being watched. I watched her from the window while she put the brush down and grabbed a book. I felt conflicted and perverted; I was spying on a child, she was barely sixteen and I was… timeless. I got closer to the window, I was careless. Sephi heard something and jumped from the couch. She looked out the window. After a while she convinced herself there was nothing there “It must have been the wind.” She said it out loud to reassure herself that there was nobody out there. I sighed in relief.

Sephi was now a woman, a marine biologist. We would spend countless hours together at sea. I never told her how I spied on her, how I would fantasize about her hair. I could see in her eyes that she was happy. I kept playing with her hair. I tried to convince time to stop and let me be with her forever, but time is relentless in his duty and the days kept turning to nights.

Sephi was also doing a lot of progress at her work. She knew she was close to a big breakthrough and it made both of us very excited. We settled into a routine: we would set sail early in the morning, before the sun was out, I would help guide the ship to our destination, she would spend hours making notes and nights analyzing data and double checking everything. Eventually Sephi got all the data she needed, she started working on her paper and seldom went sailing. She met Evan at some point during that time, I don’t know when. I tried to be mature about it. Then Sephi invited Evan sailing. I don’t know why I decided to go with them but the three of us set sail early in the morning.

The trip was gruesome, I saw Evan and Sephi talking and laughing for hours. I knew we could never be together, but I had blocked the thought. I tried to get her attention, to play with her hair the way they had grown accustomed to, but she put on a hair band and kept talking with Evan. Frustration turned to rage. The boat began to shake, the tides raised and the small boat soon gave way to the powerful winds. Sephi and Evan fell into the ocean, she passed out after the fall, Evan swam to her but could barely hold on. What had I done? The winds stopped suddenly. I asked death to spare her and he told me it wasn't her time yet. I felt relieved.

Years have passed. Sephi has not gone sailing ever since the accident. I think she has forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself and every time I see her I prefer to hide. I know her friends say that she is so beautiful that even the wind will lose its breath in her presence.
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