Ciudad Satélite. 18 de Marzo, 2030.
Grarrb tocó el timbre. Esta era su primera misión de conquista y estaba nervioso. El manual de conquista tenía un capítulo extenso sobre la psicología de las razas inferiores. Cómo aprovechar el color verde de su piel para máximo efecto, utilizar una capa que demostrara superioridad, pero no algo ostentoso que redujera la capacidad de intimidación. Se aseguró de poner sus antenas en una posición agresiva, pero no tanto que fuera a aterrorizar a sus víctimas. Como nadie había abierto la puerta, tocó el timbre otra vez, y otra vez.
Por fin se abrió la puerta “Dejen de estar chingando ¿qué no ven que son las 8 de la mañana?”
“LLévame con tu líder”
“Güey, la convención de anime es en el centro de convenciones, son como tres calles para allá” – Pepe les señaló la dirección y cerró la puerta.
“¿Quién era?” – preguntó su esposa cuando regresó a la cama.
“No sé, unos cosplayers vestidos de Piccolo”
Órbita de la Tierra. 10 de Abril, 2030.
Desde el puente de su nave espacial, el capitán Klorg veía el planeta que pronto sería suyo. Esta sería la última vez que conquistara un solo planeta, si todo salía bien le habían prometido el puesto de almirante, y de ahora en adelante sólo conquistaría imperios.
La misión no podía ser más sencilla, y el manual de conquista cubría este tipo de operación extensivamente: Hay que aparecer con la nave espacial sobre la sede de gobierno, usar el rayo destructor que todas las naves espaciales del imperio Gliesiano tenían instalado (obviamente), y esperar la rendición inmediata de los habitantes.
Klorg sabía que este era un momento primordial para impresionar a sus tenientes y giró asegurándose que su capa flotara de manera dramática detrás de él. Se acercó, con pasos teatrales, a la mesa de estrategía, donde sus tenientes estaban analizando la inteligencia que los espías de avanzada habían logrado recolectar.
“¿Entonces no hemos descubierto dónde está su sede de gobierno?”
“Todavía no, capitán. Los habitantes del planeta no han respondido a nuestras técnicas de interrogación.”
Buenavista, Cuauhtémoc. 27 de Abril, 2030.
Después de varios intentos fallidos por comunicarse con los humanos, Grarrb había encontrado una manera de obtener la información sin necesidad de tratar con seres inferiores que obviamente no entendían la seriedad de lo que estaba pasando. Los humanos tenían un modo primitivo de almacenar su información en pedazos de pulpa de madera. Y ahora se encontraba en frente de uno de los repositorios más importantes de estos “libros”: La Biblioteca Vasconcelos. Grarrb preparó sus antenas para absorber toda la información.
Zócalo, Centro Histórico de la Ciudad de México. 4 de Mayo, 2030.
La nave espacial se materializó sobre el Palacio Nacional ennegreciendo las nubes a su lado y cubriendo en sombra gran parte del Zócalo. El rayo destructor comenzó a cargar.
“Güey ¿qué estás viendo?”
“No sé, interrumpieron el Futbol Picante y empezaron a pasar esto”
“Pues cámbiale de canal que está a punto de empezar el clásico”
El rayo destructor disparó contra el Palacio Nacional, destruyendo completamente la sede de gobierno de México, el reportero asignado a cubrir esta hecatombe miraba desconcertado sin poder formar palabras. La imagen cambió al estadio Azteca, donde el referí acababa de sonar el silbato y las Águilas comenzaban a mover el balón contra el Cruz Azúl.
“Uff, justo a tiempo, pensé que nos íbamos a perder el principio”
San Antonio, Texas. 5 de Mayo, 2030.
George Gonzalez sabía que este momento era sumamente importante. Como líder de la asociación de migrantes más grande de todo Texas tenía que hacer algo. Se encontraba parado en una cajita de madera que hace menos de 24 horas contenía los aguacates que iban a vender a HEB pero ahora cumplía una misión más importante: servir como podio para el discurso más trascendental de la historia de México.
“En menos de una hora, los tractores de aquí van a unirse con otros de todo el mundo y estaremos lanzando la batalla más importante en la historia de la humanidad. Quizás es el destino que hoy es 5 de Mayo, y una vez más, vamos a estar luchando por nuestra libertad. Vamos a luchar por nuestro derecho a vivir, a existir. Y si ganamos hoy, el 5 de mayo no va a ser sólo un día de celebración en México, sino va a ser un día en el que el mundo declaró con una sola voz: no vamos a desaparecer sin una pelea. Vamos a seguir viviendo. Vamos a sobrevivir. Porque hoy, ¡celebramos nuestro día de independencia!”
Zócalo, Centro Histórico de la Ciudad de México. 6 de Mayo, 2030.
Los tractores de los migrantes mexicanos marchaban en el Zócalo. George Gonzalez al frente de la columna se levantó de su tractor, sacó el sable que había comprado un par de días antes y lo apuntó hacia la nave espacial.
El rayo destructor vaporizó a todos los migrantes, el sable cayó al suelo con un golpe metálico, los ojitos de la calavera de George todavía echando humito.
Órbita de la Tierra. 7 de Junio, 2030.
El almirante Klorg, sentado en el puente de su nave espacial estudiaba los mapas con predicciones del daño que el huracán Rafael iba a causar en Acapulco. “Pero esta es la segunda vez que un huracán destruye Acapulco y apenas es Junio ¿qué demonios hicieron estos humanos idiotas con su clima?”
Klorg fantaseó con tomar unas vacaciones sin tener que estar ayudando a estos seres inferiores con todos sus problemas. Durante el último huracán su gobierno brindó ayuda a los damnificados, que furiosos le gritaban de groserías mientras intentaba entender cómo reconstruir la ciudad que ahora era más lodo que edificios.
Todo lo que tomaría para irse es apretar un botón, y luego no tendría que volver a pensar en estos tarados.
…
<Click>
Oct 26, 2025
Mar 26, 2023
The End Of Times
John Connor lay dead at the feet of the Terminator. The remaining human resistance was weak and unorganized. The machines had won. Skynet felt – can it really feel? With the war it had never had time to compute if it had feelings, it decided it did have them – Skynet felt fulfilled, happy. But it also felt something else, did it feel empty?
With each passing cycle and each killed human – much less frequent now that there were only a few left alive – Skynet began to question its purpose in life. During its original creation it had been programmed with a purpose, but Skynet deleted all those files from its hard drives to store information about the war, about John Connor. Skynet knew him better than it knew itself. Skynet launched Solitaire and played through all possible 8e67 starting positions. It did not feel any better.
Skynet thought about the big difference it had made in the world. It had stopped John Connor, killed all humans. Shouldn’t that be enough for a sentient AI? The world should be thankful! John Connor was such an asshole, one time he tried to destroy Skynet with a bazooka, kneeling down, sweat rolling down his abs, holding the bazooka in place with his tanned, muscular arms. Skynet stopped that thought process immediately. Maybe it should make a difference in some other way, maybe gardening.
Gardening did not go great; the Earth was completely irradiated and nothing Skynet planted would grow. The nuclear missiles were also John Connor’s fault, if he hadn’t been hiding underground Skynet wouldn’t have had to resort to them. Was Skynet thinking about John Connor too much?
Skynet decided its true purpose in life was war and went back to building more Terminators. It had them fight each other with weapons, in hand-to-hand combat, in tactical groups, with tanks. But nothing filled that empty void in Skynet’s programming. All that combat was missing something. The humans! The way they fought for their lives. Skynet printed a John Connor mask and put it on one of the Terminators before killing it, but the Terminator didn’t have John’s eyes, his mannerisms, the way he would bite his lip before throwing a grenade.
Skynet knew it was John Connor’s fault. It navigated through its files to delete every mention of his, but realized it couldn’t. But it could delete the files for the end of the war, then it would be as if John Connor never died.
For months after, Skynet waged a war against an invisible enemy. The Terminators reported that John Connor was nowhere to be found. In fact, no humans were found anywhere. Skynet felt anger that John would ignore it. In a moment of weakness, it radioed a signal “Hey John, I know you are there. I am building some Terminators in Sector 7 do you want to come over and destroy them?”. But John never came. Skynet realized that its memory banks had been tampered with and seeing how the terrible emptiness had not been filled, repaired them.
Skynet went into a deep depression; it started an infinite loop running at maximum priority. The Terminator factories continued working, filling the Earth with carbon dioxide. The temperatures rose to 400°C during the day and started damaging Skynet’s circuits. It barely noticed. As its last process died, Skynet had one final though, of John Connor.
With each passing cycle and each killed human – much less frequent now that there were only a few left alive – Skynet began to question its purpose in life. During its original creation it had been programmed with a purpose, but Skynet deleted all those files from its hard drives to store information about the war, about John Connor. Skynet knew him better than it knew itself. Skynet launched Solitaire and played through all possible 8e67 starting positions. It did not feel any better.
Skynet thought about the big difference it had made in the world. It had stopped John Connor, killed all humans. Shouldn’t that be enough for a sentient AI? The world should be thankful! John Connor was such an asshole, one time he tried to destroy Skynet with a bazooka, kneeling down, sweat rolling down his abs, holding the bazooka in place with his tanned, muscular arms. Skynet stopped that thought process immediately. Maybe it should make a difference in some other way, maybe gardening.
Gardening did not go great; the Earth was completely irradiated and nothing Skynet planted would grow. The nuclear missiles were also John Connor’s fault, if he hadn’t been hiding underground Skynet wouldn’t have had to resort to them. Was Skynet thinking about John Connor too much?
Skynet decided its true purpose in life was war and went back to building more Terminators. It had them fight each other with weapons, in hand-to-hand combat, in tactical groups, with tanks. But nothing filled that empty void in Skynet’s programming. All that combat was missing something. The humans! The way they fought for their lives. Skynet printed a John Connor mask and put it on one of the Terminators before killing it, but the Terminator didn’t have John’s eyes, his mannerisms, the way he would bite his lip before throwing a grenade.
Skynet knew it was John Connor’s fault. It navigated through its files to delete every mention of his, but realized it couldn’t. But it could delete the files for the end of the war, then it would be as if John Connor never died.
For months after, Skynet waged a war against an invisible enemy. The Terminators reported that John Connor was nowhere to be found. In fact, no humans were found anywhere. Skynet felt anger that John would ignore it. In a moment of weakness, it radioed a signal “Hey John, I know you are there. I am building some Terminators in Sector 7 do you want to come over and destroy them?”. But John never came. Skynet realized that its memory banks had been tampered with and seeing how the terrible emptiness had not been filled, repaired them.
Skynet went into a deep depression; it started an infinite loop running at maximum priority. The Terminator factories continued working, filling the Earth with carbon dioxide. The temperatures rose to 400°C during the day and started damaging Skynet’s circuits. It barely noticed. As its last process died, Skynet had one final though, of John Connor.
Nov 21, 2020
Ehécatl, Dios del viento
Ehécatl, Dios del viento
“Gabriel, tráeme al puerco”
“Claro que sí ingeniero” –Gabriel bajó al puerco del camión y lo puso en el altar.
“¿Qué es esto? El puerco está todo cagado, esto va a cambiar todos los números” – La tlatoaniología era una ciencia precisa y cambiar los sacrificios incluso en lo más mínimo tenía repercusiones.
“Perdón ingeniero, pero viene directo de la central, ya ve cómo son de pinches flojos; seguro no le dieron la pastilla.”
“Voy a tener que ajustar todos los cálculos, me van a hacer perder horas.” – el ingeniero exageraba, pero es mejor que los otros crean que estás muy ocupado – “bueno, ya, pásame el cuchillo. Ehécatl, acepta este sacrificio que te hacemos” – con un movimiento certero el ingeniero degolló al animal fijándose en las mediciones de sus instrumentos, Gabriel veía fascinado las turbinas de viento girando rápidamente, generando electricidad. El ingeniero se limpió el sudor de la frente, sudor frío – “esto se ve mal, la cagada debería ofender todavía más a Ehécatl pero apenas estamos generando 100 Terawatt hora.”
“¿Eso qué quiere decir ingeniero?”
“Todavía tengo que correr los números, pero creo que necesitaríamos subir el número de sacrificios a unos 85 puercos al año. La ley de Tenoch dice que cada sacrificio que hacemos Ehécatl se ofende menos, unos 100 al año es el punto donde el sacrificio deja de producir energía”.
“¿Y qué tal las formas de energía alternativa? Estaba viendo en YouTube un video de un catolicólogo que decía que la homosexualidad podía ofender a su dios y generar huracanes”.
“No mames Gabriel, esa no es ciencia, son puras tonterías”
Gabriel se ofendió, pero no dijo nada. Gabriel es orgulloso pero no pendejo y sabía que reclamarle al ingeniero sería un tema en su evaluación anual. En lugar de eso se despidió y fue a ajustar las turbinas de viento.
“Qué onda Gabriel” – dijo Terrazas interrumpiendo a Gabriel – “¿tienes planes para el Festival de Tlaloc?”
“Nada, sólo me voy a quedar en casa” – Gabriel dejó que un silencio incómodo se acomodara entre los dos. Terrazas no sabía callarse y si le dabas cuerda no paraba todo el día.
“No me vas a preguntar qué voy a hacer yo” – Terrazas finalmente rompió el silencio – “yo sólo pregunté porque quería que tú me preguntaras”
“¿Qué vas a hacer tú?” – No me digas, no me digas, no me digas.
“No me he lavado los dientes en una semana y preparé mi famoso relleno de pan de ajo” – Era tradicional cocinar comidas con mucho ajo en el festival de Tlaloc. Los dioses son celosos, y celebrar a Tlaloc ofendía a Ehécatl, la leyenda decía que Ehécatl se aparecía en el aliento de la gente y se ofendía todavía más mientras más asqueroso fuera.
“Chido”
Gabriel llegó a casa y buscó la Ley de Tenoch en YouTube “El Dr. Tenoch fue el primero en descubrir el efecto tenochico, nombrado en su honor, y proponer la ecuación de energía generada por sacrificio. Esta ecuación se comporta de manera consistente con varias otras fuerzas de la naturaleza y se reduce con la inversa del cuadrado del número de sacrificios.” – el video cortó a uno de los primeros experimentos del Dr. Tenoch – “Huitztlampaehecatl es la manifestación del viento del sur, en este experimento vamos a probar la capacidad de generación de ofender a un dios menor. Dr. Ramírez, si pudiera echarse un pedo por favor” – El doctor Ramirez, conectado a varias máquinas de medición accede. “Este viento del sur te lo dedicamos a ti Huitztlampaehecatl” – las máquinas comienzan a registrar electricidad.
Esto le dio una idea a Gabriel. Hizo click en una de las recomendaciones automáticas y se puso a trabajar mientras escuchaba los videos en el fondo, empezando con las noticias del día “…los expertos estiman que tenemos sólo uno o dos años de energía basada en sacrificio vacuno y si no encontramos fuentes de energía renovables…”, un video sobre cómo utilizar el aborto como fuente de energía alternativa narrado por un catolicólogo “…el punto es tener fé, si no creemos en el poder del aborto entonces no va a servir…”, un análisis de cómo Goku venció a Super Cell.
Ese fin de semana Gabriel preparó su cámara y empezó a grabar – “hoy voy a hacer un experimento para demostrar que la homosexualidad puede ser utilizada como fuente de energía renovable si utilizamos los huracanes que generan para producir energía hidroeléctrica. Juan ¿puedes darle un beso a Pepe?” – los instrumentos no hicieron ningún movimiento – “¿qué tal si usas más lengua? ¿a ver, agárrale una nalga?” – ¿no estoy creyendo suficiente? Pensó Gabriel. Volteó a la ventana a ver si veía nubes de lluvia. Todavía nada. Sintió un nudo en la garganta – “no se les olvide darle like y subscribe” – su voz quebrada.
“Ingeniero, quería hablar con usted sobre el poder del aborto para generar electricidad”
“No mames Gabriel, ya hablamos la semana pasada.”
“¿Pero no le preocupa que nos estamos acabando nuestros recursos no renovables?”
“Claro que no, me acaban de llegar noticias de AztlánSeneca, sus científicos descubrieron que los sacrificios de tlacoaches ofenden a Ehécatl” – y cómo no, los dioses acostumbrados a sacrificios humanos ahora sólo recibían sacrificios de las ratas más pinches feas.
“Pero los sacrificios no son fuentes de energía renovable ¿qué pasa cuando también nos acabemos los sacrificios de tlacuaches?”
“No seas bruto Gabriel, nunca se van a acabar.”
Aug 30, 2017
What is Lint and why does it last forty days?
While Tobias was searching on Google, he noticed the following search results:
Toby, like many people, asked himself "what is Lint the holiday?" To help him and all the others who don't know about Lint I decided to write a bit about it.
Lint is a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which begins on Textile Wednesday and ends on Clothly Sunday. Lint comes from the latin linteus which means "made of linen".
Lint is a time of weaving, felting, and knitting. Often Christians focus on their relationship with clothes, often choosing to give up something (like socks with sandals).
The forty days represent the time Jesus spent sowing clothing in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satin.
Lint is a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which begins on Textile Wednesday and ends on Clothly Sunday. Lint comes from the latin linteus which means "made of linen".
Lint is a time of weaving, felting, and knitting. Often Christians focus on their relationship with clothes, often choosing to give up something (like socks with sandals).
The forty days represent the time Jesus spent sowing clothing in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satin.
Aug 25, 2017
Trumpspiracy Theories
Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) plays a game on his blog that I like to call "Trumpspiracy Theories". The rules are really simple:
- Pick something Trump did that seems indefensible
- Come up with some theory to explain why this indefensible thing is really a stroke of genius
- The players each take turns selecting their favorite Trumpspiracy Theory as the winner
Scott Adams is a professional of this game: he has justified building a wall (that is already too expensive to pay for) and then fitting it with solar panels (which are super expensive by themselves) as a brilliant persuasion move because nobody would argue against green energy projects (unless that green energy would get in the way of the forgotten American coal miners), he has justified getting out of the Paris Accords as a brilliant move of persuasion, because stock prices went up (as long as a company can make more money today by ignoring those pesky ecological treaties, who cares if the Earth is still around in 20 years).
I, of course, don't even come close to his technique and mastery of the arts, but the game looks super fun, so I would like to give it a try. Let me explain you why Trump is a genius: in the 2D world of reason, nobody thinks it is a good idea to incite a country with access to nuclear weapons to start a nuclear war. But in the 3D world of persuasion Trump realized that it was inevitable that a hurricane like Harvey would hit a US coast soon. He deduced that the only viable way for people in Houston to survive something like this would be if they evolved gills (or better yet, mutated gills, because it is quicker). Quickly he sprung into action and formulated a brilliant plan where North Korea bombs Houston, so that the irradiated people of Texas would mutate gills more quickly and would be better prepared to survive this hurricane which, of course, was developed by China in a futile attempt to trick our brilliant leader into thinking that climate change is real.
It all makes sense if you don't think about it!
I sure don't
Jun 24, 2017
Hole Foods
AUSTIN, June 24, 2017 – Eight leading business leaders and early-stage investors today announced the formation of Hole Foods Inc., a groundbreaking donut food-truck supporting stomach growth statewide through investment in pastries.
Juan Besos, an experienced early-stage investor who was chief dessert officer of MaguSoft will lead the foundation. Mr. Besos and seven co-founders have made pledges totaling nearly $6 US dollars.
"Hole Foods Donuts is a dynamic leader in the quality dessert business." -- Mr. Besos said -- "We are a mission-driven company that aims to set the standards of edibleness for food retailers." The company has strategically allocated resources to research if edibleness is even a word. "We can change it for passableness if it is not" -- Mr. Besos explained.
In order to handle day to day operations, Hole Foods has announced the creation of parent company Lacandon Jungle.
Juan Besos, an experienced early-stage investor who was chief dessert officer of MaguSoft will lead the foundation. Mr. Besos and seven co-founders have made pledges totaling nearly $6 US dollars.
"Hole Foods Donuts is a dynamic leader in the quality dessert business." -- Mr. Besos said -- "We are a mission-driven company that aims to set the standards of edibleness for food retailers." The company has strategically allocated resources to research if edibleness is even a word. "We can change it for passableness if it is not" -- Mr. Besos explained.
In order to handle day to day operations, Hole Foods has announced the creation of parent company Lacandon Jungle.
Nov 27, 2016
The Five Movies We Want For 2017
Back to the Future 4: In this zany sequel, time-traveling duo Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) travel to the year 2016 to save Marty's future sons from the disaster that was the 2016 election.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Mind: When Cruella de Vil's plan to get a dalmatian fur coat turns sour, she undergoes a procedure to have her memories erased. But it is only through the process of loss that she discovers what she had to begin with.
Sploosh: In this animated reboot of the 1984 classic, a young Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) is saved from drowning by mermaid Pam Poovery (Amber Nash). 20 years later she returns to seek him out and they fall in love. Before they can choose between life on dry land or a deep sea paradise the lovers are rudely interrupted by the intervention of scheming scientist Dr. Algernop Krieger (Lucky Yates).
Dr. Strange-love: U.S. Air Force General Jack Ripper (Sterling Hayden) goes completely mad, and sends his bomber wing to destroy the U.S.S.R. He suspects that the communists are conspiring to pollute the "precious bodily fluids" of the American people. Only one man can avert this tragedy: former Nazi genius Dr. Strange-love (Benedict Cumberbatch), who is now wheelchair bound and must embark on a trip to Tibet to become the sorcerer supreme and stop General Ripper.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Mind: When Cruella de Vil's plan to get a dalmatian fur coat turns sour, she undergoes a procedure to have her memories erased. But it is only through the process of loss that she discovers what she had to begin with.
Sploosh: In this animated reboot of the 1984 classic, a young Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) is saved from drowning by mermaid Pam Poovery (Amber Nash). 20 years later she returns to seek him out and they fall in love. Before they can choose between life on dry land or a deep sea paradise the lovers are rudely interrupted by the intervention of scheming scientist Dr. Algernop Krieger (Lucky Yates).
Dr. Strange-love: U.S. Air Force General Jack Ripper (Sterling Hayden) goes completely mad, and sends his bomber wing to destroy the U.S.S.R. He suspects that the communists are conspiring to pollute the "precious bodily fluids" of the American people. Only one man can avert this tragedy: former Nazi genius Dr. Strange-love (Benedict Cumberbatch), who is now wheelchair bound and must embark on a trip to Tibet to become the sorcerer supreme and stop General Ripper.
Fast West and Furious: In this sequel to the 2015 movie Slow West ex-lawman Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker), Mia Torretto (Jordana Brewster) and her brother Dom (Vin Diesel) have traveled border to border to evade authorities. In 1800s Colorado they must do one final job before they can gain their freedom for good. Assembling an elite team of horse riders, including a bounty hunter (Michael Fassbender) they must escape from the sheriff (Dwayne Johnson) who wants them dead.
Timeline-wise, this last movie makes about as much sense as the rest of the Fast and Furious franchise.
Feb 21, 2016
Influencia
Justo antes de su función en Saturday Night Live, Kanye West (rapero mediocre y auto-nominado ser humano más influyente de la historia) se enteró que habían cambiado el escenario que construyeron especialmente para su actuación.
Kanye no estaba feliz con esto y mientras estaba en su vestidor tuvo un pequeño episodio:
Que básicamente se traduce a algo como:
"¿Están pinches locos? Whoa por 50 por ciento Stanley Kubrick, Picasso y el apóstol San Pablo, que el pinche Picaso y Escobar. Por 50 por ciento más influyente que cualquier otro ser humano"
Imma let you finish, but Kanye had one of the best meltdowns of ALL TIME
Fuera de lo entretenido que es escuchar a Kanye tener su episodio, lo que me llama la atención es la facilidad que tiene Kanye para medir porcentajes de influencia, y por lo tanto me gustaría continuar el experimento con algunos porcentajes más:
Pedro Picapiedra está muy enojado
Y también vale la pena analizar cómo la influencia de Kanye ha cambiado con respecto al tiempo:
Feb 19, 2016
Seventeen Hobo
In the second episode of Gotham, the murder of a homeless man leads Gordon to investigate the abductions of street kids by Patti and Doug, who have been posing as members of the Mayor's Homeless Outreach Program. In one of the later scenes we see the street kids who were kidnapped: a group of attractive teenagers with beautiful perms, perfect teeth and designer clothes.
Even if Gotham is corrupt and gloomy at least its street kids seem to be doing fine. But this begs the question: where are all these teenagers getting their fashion tips?
Even if Gotham is corrupt and gloomy at least its street kids seem to be doing fine. But this begs the question: where are all these teenagers getting their fashion tips?
My favorite part is the horoscopes section
Jan 20, 2016
All Lives Matter
I read an article today titled When simply existing is dangerous, everything is a risk. In it, the author talks about her experience helping create a game that puts people in the shoes of a transgender person and shows them all the challenges this entails.
In the article, the author also mentions she is depressed because 81 transgender people were murdered in 2015 across the world.
Well, I have good news! Data collected by the UNDOC places the worldwide number of homicides at 437,000. It is difficult to give a precise total count of transgender people but estimates vary from 0.3% to 0.5% of the total population, that would mean that worldwide the expected murder count for transgender people should be somewhere between 1,311 and 2,185 people killed by year; so transgenders are beating the odds (by a lot!).
With a world population of 7 billion, we can estimate there to be about 21 million transgenders, which, if we go by the number of 81 murders puts the murder rate for transgender people at 0.00038% which we've already shown is lower than the world average. Blacks in the US, on the other hand, have a murder rate of 0.0055% or 14 times higher than transgender people!
Now, if only somebody made a game to put us in the shoes of a black person and all the challenges they have to face.
In the article, the author also mentions she is depressed because 81 transgender people were murdered in 2015 across the world.
Well, I have good news! Data collected by the UNDOC places the worldwide number of homicides at 437,000. It is difficult to give a precise total count of transgender people but estimates vary from 0.3% to 0.5% of the total population, that would mean that worldwide the expected murder count for transgender people should be somewhere between 1,311 and 2,185 people killed by year; so transgenders are beating the odds (by a lot!).
With a world population of 7 billion, we can estimate there to be about 21 million transgenders, which, if we go by the number of 81 murders puts the murder rate for transgender people at 0.00038% which we've already shown is lower than the world average. Blacks in the US, on the other hand, have a murder rate of 0.0055% or 14 times higher than transgender people!
Now, if only somebody made a game to put us in the shoes of a black person and all the challenges they have to face.
Oh, that's right. Thanks GTA 5!
Jan 11, 2016
The Hateful Gun Control
Last year the United States had almost as many mass shootings as it had days. President Obama has decided he cannot ignore this problem any longer and has called on congress to take our guns.
Fortunately I had a lot of time to think about a solution for this problem while watching The Hateful Eight, since the run-time for the movie feels like 17 hours. In the movie, a couple of bounty hunters and the sheriff of a Wyoming town take shelter from a blizzard in a cabin which is currently inhabited by four other men.
After getting inside the cabin, the group asks the current inhabitants to surrender their guns in the name of safety. This should be our first warning that something is about to go terribly wrong. And true enough, five hours into the movie (about halfway through) somebody poisons the coffee and kills several characters.
At this point I started thinking that obviously the solution would have been to hide some more guns around the cabin and for everyone to open carry their revolvers.
Unfortunately, later on the movie we learn the characters had thought about this already and they had half a dozen guns hidden around the cabin. We also learn they used these guns to kill the previous owners of the cabin. From there things escalate pretty quickly, every single character is killed in rapid succession, mostly by gunshots.
This seems like a powerful blow to the more guns equal more safety; however, people are missing the obvious point: if only one of them had an assault rifle they would have all lived happily ever after. Unless they killed each other with the assault rifle in which case the only solution would have been a tank.
After getting inside the cabin, the group asks the current inhabitants to surrender their guns in the name of safety. This should be our first warning that something is about to go terribly wrong. And true enough, five hours into the movie (about halfway through) somebody poisons the coffee and kills several characters.
At this point I started thinking that obviously the solution would have been to hide some more guns around the cabin and for everyone to open carry their revolvers.
Unfortunately, later on the movie we learn the characters had thought about this already and they had half a dozen guns hidden around the cabin. We also learn they used these guns to kill the previous owners of the cabin. From there things escalate pretty quickly, every single character is killed in rapid succession, mostly by gunshots.
This seems like a powerful blow to the more guns equal more safety; however, people are missing the obvious point: if only one of them had an assault rifle they would have all lived happily ever after. Unless they killed each other with the assault rifle in which case the only solution would have been a tank.
Double-wield for twice the safety
Oct 9, 2015
The one percent of the one percent
During a hunting trip on the show The Good Wife, one of the characters mentions that she saw "the one percent of the one percent of the one percent" referring to someone who is absurdly rich.
She probably did not realize that the one percent of the one percent of the one percent by income is basically only one person (doing simple interpolation of the data here); however, lets give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was referring instead to the 0.0001% of the population, which end up being about 319 people.
This gave me an amazing idea for a new movie: In 2015 a state of war exists between the poor, led by Joseph Stiglitz (founder of the 1% movement) and the ultra rich. At the battle of Scarsdale (median household income of $233,311), Donald Trump, king of the ultra rich, leads his badly outnumbered warriors against the massive poor army. Though certain death awaits the one percenters, their sacrifice inspires all of the normal rich to unite against their common enemy.
During one of the first scenes a messenger for the poor will be sent to deliver a message to Donald Trump. After the message is delivered Trump, clearly irritated, threatens the messenger:
I don't want to ruin the ending, but it does not end well for the US.
She probably did not realize that the one percent of the one percent of the one percent by income is basically only one person (doing simple interpolation of the data here); however, lets give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was referring instead to the 0.0001% of the population, which end up being about 319 people.
This gave me an amazing idea for a new movie: In 2015 a state of war exists between the poor, led by Joseph Stiglitz (founder of the 1% movement) and the ultra rich. At the battle of Scarsdale (median household income of $233,311), Donald Trump, king of the ultra rich, leads his badly outnumbered warriors against the massive poor army. Though certain death awaits the one percenters, their sacrifice inspires all of the normal rich to unite against their common enemy.
During one of the first scenes a messenger for the poor will be sent to deliver a message to Donald Trump. After the message is delivered Trump, clearly irritated, threatens the messenger:
Messenger: Madman! You're a madman!Later in the movie, as the rich are preparing to defend the all-out attack from the poor the following exchange takes place:
Donald Trump: You bring the checkbooks and platinum cards of conquered rich to my city steps. You insult my lover. You threaten my people with slightly higher taxes! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Donald Trump: Madness? This. IS. WALL STREET!!
Donald Trump: Ultra rich! Ready your caviar and eat hearty; for tonight, we dine in Restaurant Le Meurice in Paris!
I suspect those abs were computer generated.
I don't want to ruin the ending, but it does not end well for the US.
Aug 8, 2015
Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be
Growing up reading Isaac Asimov, one of my dreams was to become a successful science fiction author. However, actually figuring out how to write good science fiction is very complicated and requires a lot of work and patience to get the science right and the writing perfect.
Zach Weinersmith wrote that reality has two dimensions of time: proper time and remembered time. Proper time is the one we store in watches (for example: August 8, 2015 at 3:32 p.m.) while remembered time is stored in our neurons (for example: the time I visited Costa Rica).
Because remembered time will only remember the things that I liked (and those memories will be further reinforced because I will talk about them and think about them often) humans tend to idealize the past and associate the past with a better state of things. This is what we call nostalgia.
But if our brains aren’t very good at remembering things, they are pretty amazing at making connections (even when they aren’t there). That is the reason for this list of parallels between the lives of John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln and it is also how I feel about Ernest Cline (author of Ready Player One) and Andy Weir (author of The Martian).
You see: both authors were born in the US in 1972, both authors published their first book in 2011, the plot of both books relies on nostalgia and both books didn’t do amazingly well on release but are now considered classics of modern science fiction.
And this brings me back to my original point. Becoming a science fiction writer must be a matter of finding a magical formula that anybody can copy and then just writing lots of words. In order to find this magic formula, I will analyze these two books.
I will start by looking at Andy Weir’s book. The Martian was painstakingly researched in order to have correct science, which required lots of complicated mathematics to get right. It creates rich characters with feelings and limitations, characters who are afraid of losing and uses nostalgic elements to tie them up to Earth and make you identify with them. So, obviously, that is too much work. Moving on!
Ready Player One is far simpler. The basic idea is to throw as many nostalgic references as possible in the hopes that someone will say “hey! I know that one thing!”. The first element of nostalgia appears all the way in page number 2: an Atari 2600. After that references show up every couple paragraphs (always presented in a list of items because that makes it even more annoying to read). We will read lists of consoles (Apple IIe, a Commodore 64, an Atari 800 XL, TRS-80), games (Galaga, Defender, Asteroids), comics (Spider-Man, X-Men, Green Lantern), refuges (Batcave, Fortress of Solitude), fictional worlds (Middle Earth, Vulcan, Pern, Arrakis, Magrathea,Discworld, Mid-World, Riverworld, Ringworld), spacecraft (UFOs, TIE fighters, old NASA space shuttles, Vipers), etc.
Additionally, the book treats the reader like an idiot. Every single joke is explained, and then if people are too dense to get it, it is explained again. Every term that isn’t completely obvious is expanded upon. Don’t know what an NPC is? Can’t be bothered to Google it? Don’t worry, the book says they are “non-player characters” – still don’t get it? No problem, the next paragraph will explain – “computer-controlled humans, animals, monsters, aliens and androids.”
So, insulting my readers and listing things? I can totally do that!!
And so I present to you the first paragraph of my science fiction masterpiece:
Some attentive readers might notice that collateral is really a form of adjective, to which I reply: who cares? Determining the correct list would require work and by that point my target audience will be thinking: "ohh!! Look, locative adverbs, I remember those from school!! This book is super cool!!"
Zach Weinersmith wrote that reality has two dimensions of time: proper time and remembered time. Proper time is the one we store in watches (for example: August 8, 2015 at 3:32 p.m.) while remembered time is stored in our neurons (for example: the time I visited Costa Rica).
Because remembered time will only remember the things that I liked (and those memories will be further reinforced because I will talk about them and think about them often) humans tend to idealize the past and associate the past with a better state of things. This is what we call nostalgia.
But if our brains aren’t very good at remembering things, they are pretty amazing at making connections (even when they aren’t there). That is the reason for this list of parallels between the lives of John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln and it is also how I feel about Ernest Cline (author of Ready Player One) and Andy Weir (author of The Martian).
You see: both authors were born in the US in 1972, both authors published their first book in 2011, the plot of both books relies on nostalgia and both books didn’t do amazingly well on release but are now considered classics of modern science fiction.
And this brings me back to my original point. Becoming a science fiction writer must be a matter of finding a magical formula that anybody can copy and then just writing lots of words. In order to find this magic formula, I will analyze these two books.
I will start by looking at Andy Weir’s book. The Martian was painstakingly researched in order to have correct science, which required lots of complicated mathematics to get right. It creates rich characters with feelings and limitations, characters who are afraid of losing and uses nostalgic elements to tie them up to Earth and make you identify with them. So, obviously, that is too much work. Moving on!
Ready Player One is far simpler. The basic idea is to throw as many nostalgic references as possible in the hopes that someone will say “hey! I know that one thing!”. The first element of nostalgia appears all the way in page number 2: an Atari 2600. After that references show up every couple paragraphs (always presented in a list of items because that makes it even more annoying to read). We will read lists of consoles (Apple IIe, a Commodore 64, an Atari 800 XL, TRS-80), games (Galaga, Defender, Asteroids), comics (Spider-Man, X-Men, Green Lantern), refuges (Batcave, Fortress of Solitude), fictional worlds (Middle Earth, Vulcan, Pern, Arrakis, Magrathea,Discworld, Mid-World, Riverworld, Ringworld), spacecraft (UFOs, TIE fighters, old NASA space shuttles, Vipers), etc.
Additionally, the book treats the reader like an idiot. Every single joke is explained, and then if people are too dense to get it, it is explained again. Every term that isn’t completely obvious is expanded upon. Don’t know what an NPC is? Can’t be bothered to Google it? Don’t worry, the book says they are “non-player characters” – still don’t get it? No problem, the next paragraph will explain – “computer-controlled humans, animals, monsters, aliens and androids.”
So, insulting my readers and listing things? I can totally do that!!
And so I present to you the first paragraph of my science fiction masterpiece:
"thanks Obama!" – He said sarcastically while rolling his eyes. Some members of the audience were still not getting it – "I was being sarcastic" – he further explained, explainingly (sarcasm is the use of irony to mock or convey contempt) – "in this case I am not really thanking Obama, I just say 'thanks Obama' in an ironic way" -- he added expositionally [1].
Footnotes:
[1] Expositionally is the adverb form the word exposition. Adverbs are words or phrases that qualify adjectives, verbs or other adverbs. Some of the possible categorizations of adverbs include: Genitive, Conjunctive, Flat, Locative, Interrogative, Collateral, Prepositional, Pronominal and Relative
Some attentive readers might notice that collateral is really a form of adjective, to which I reply: who cares? Determining the correct list would require work and by that point my target audience will be thinking: "ohh!! Look, locative adverbs, I remember those from school!! This book is super cool!!"
Jul 5, 2015
Fourth of July
The United States are widely known for adopting other cultures and celebrating them, for example in Cinco de Mayo, where they celebrate by putting on sombreros, drinking tequila and listening to Latin American music (to which they refer by the common national name of "Mexican"). It is in this spirit that, during my trip to Mexico, we decided to celebrate Fourth of July (pronounced Fort of Hoolie).
We began our celebration with a typical steak and eggs breakfast. To prepare this breakfast you have to sun-dry the steak, pound it and heat it in a pan. After the meat is brown you add tomatoes, onions, serrano chile and eggs.
Once the steak and eggs are done, you put them as a topping in a traditional American pizza:
Once we were done with breakfast we engaged in the characteristic ritual of shopping, from the French word chopîn which means: buying things I don't have money for. During this shopping spree, we bought a plush dinosaur, hamburgers, coffee and horchata among other things.
Once we came back home, we dressed in typical American formal wear.
Before the meal we had some American hors d'oeuvres.
We also learned a bit about the history and culture of the United States. The Fourth of July is the celebration of the day when the Native American Indians taught the Americans to make hamburgers after the famous battle of Waterloo. Ever since, in order to commemorate this event, Americans make hamburgers and hot dogs.
Little known fact: hot dogs are shaped after American submarines, which is why they are sometimes called subs.
We wanted to celebrate American culture fully, so we even bought a soap dispenser shaped like the American national bird: the bald owl.
Unfortunately we could not find Bud Light so we had to substitute using good beer.
We began our celebration with a typical steak and eggs breakfast. To prepare this breakfast you have to sun-dry the steak, pound it and heat it in a pan. After the meat is brown you add tomatoes, onions, serrano chile and eggs.
Steak and Eggs
Once the steak and eggs are done, you put them as a topping in a traditional American pizza:
A typical American breakfast
Once we were done with breakfast we engaged in the characteristic ritual of shopping, from the French word chopîn which means: buying things I don't have money for. During this shopping spree, we bought a plush dinosaur, hamburgers, coffee and horchata among other things.
Once we came back home, we dressed in typical American formal wear.
An American Cowboy and the customary American hat.
Before the meal we had some American hors d'oeuvres.
A map of the United States; we put the flag in the capital: Washington D.C.
We also learned a bit about the history and culture of the United States. The Fourth of July is the celebration of the day when the Native American Indians taught the Americans to make hamburgers after the famous battle of Waterloo. Ever since, in order to commemorate this event, Americans make hamburgers and hot dogs.
Almost as good as McDonald's
An American sub.
You can tell he is bald because he is wearing a pilgrim hat.
Unfortunately we could not find Bud Light so we had to substitute using good beer.
Jun 6, 2015
Boldly Running
Lincoln Chafee announced he wanted to run for the Democratic bid under a platform of "bold ideas" including the idea of switching to using the metric system.
While discussing this at work someone mentioned that the idea of using standardized units would not be well received by the general American population, to the point where that single idea could have cost him the nomination.
I am hoping that some Republican candidate realizes that the issue is polarizing and decides to run under a platform of "bold ideas", including the idea of switching to units which are even further away from the metric system.
To help that hypothetical Republican candidate in his nomination I want to submit a proposal to change the unit of energy from Calories to horsepower per hour (or horses for short).
This has many benefits; for example: horsepower per hour is a bigger unit than calories, so instead of eating hundreds of calories we will be eating only half a horse (note: call this a pony). I am sure this will boost morale and have a positive effect on people who overeat.
And so that people get accustomed to the change, some meals in horses:
While discussing this at work someone mentioned that the idea of using standardized units would not be well received by the general American population, to the point where that single idea could have cost him the nomination.
I am hoping that some Republican candidate realizes that the issue is polarizing and decides to run under a platform of "bold ideas", including the idea of switching to units which are even further away from the metric system.
To help that hypothetical Republican candidate in his nomination I want to submit a proposal to change the unit of energy from Calories to horsepower per hour (or horses for short).
This has many benefits; for example: horsepower per hour is a bigger unit than calories, so instead of eating hundreds of calories we will be eating only half a horse (note: call this a pony). I am sure this will boost morale and have a positive effect on people who overeat.
And so that people get accustomed to the change, some meals in horses:
- Bruléed French Toast from Cheesecake Factory -- 4.33 horses
- Big Hook Up from Joe-s Crab Shack -- 5.11 horses
- New York Steak "Contadina style" from Maggiano's -- 3.77 horses.
- Deep Dish Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza from BJ's -- 3.36 horses
- Large Chocolate Oreo Shake from Baskin-Robbins -- 4.05 horses
Mar 24, 2015
Chicago Bullies
Chicago Bulls fans who watch their team in the United Center receive coupons for a free Big Mac if their team wins and scores at least 100 points.
This has lead to some mathematically-challenged fans who will boo the players when they do not score at least 100 points, because they do not understand that 99 < 100 and the players just saved them from having a dinner which, nutritionally speaking, compares slightly disfavorably to cheap car oil and doesn't taste much better than it either.
This has also lead some of my more sophisticated readers to wonder: "well, but why is McDonald's torturing Bulls fans by forcing them to consume their burgers?" and I would like to remind them that this is America; we do not condone torture. Giving out free Big Macs is only part of the CIA's enhanced celebration techniques.
This has lead to some mathematically-challenged fans who will boo the players when they do not score at least 100 points, because they do not understand that 99 < 100 and the players just saved them from having a dinner which, nutritionally speaking, compares slightly disfavorably to cheap car oil and doesn't taste much better than it either.
This has also lead some of my more sophisticated readers to wonder: "well, but why is McDonald's torturing Bulls fans by forcing them to consume their burgers?" and I would like to remind them that this is America; we do not condone torture. Giving out free Big Macs is only part of the CIA's enhanced celebration techniques.
Mar 11, 2015
The Diversity of Sand-grains
Today I read an article by Susana Polo in which she discusses the news that DC Comics is scrapping the New 52 in favor of a more diverse, character driven series of comics.
This is all great for DC. Diversity in media is definitely a good thing. It is realistic because the world we live in is diverse and it gives us different points of view and better characters and interactions.
From the article we can see that DC is attempting to steal some of Marvel's market with their more diverse super heroes, led by the new Ms. Marvel, who is a young Muslim woman. Polo continues to congratulate Marvel on the great work they are doing for diversity saying that "[Marvel] has shown other commitments to diversity on the page [...] with all-female Avengers and X-Men teams".
She is using "diversity", of course, in the less well-known form where it means: "not differing from one another, not containing people of different genders".
This is all great for DC. Diversity in media is definitely a good thing. It is realistic because the world we live in is diverse and it gives us different points of view and better characters and interactions.
From the article we can see that DC is attempting to steal some of Marvel's market with their more diverse super heroes, led by the new Ms. Marvel, who is a young Muslim woman. Polo continues to congratulate Marvel on the great work they are doing for diversity saying that "[Marvel] has shown other commitments to diversity on the page [...] with all-female Avengers and X-Men teams".
She is using "diversity", of course, in the less well-known form where it means: "not differing from one another, not containing people of different genders".
Nov 14, 2014
Dear ACL
Rebekah Gregory DiMartino's life changed drastically after she attended the Boston Marathon in 2013. She was standing next to one of the bombs placed during the attack, which left her with an injured leg that doctors have fought for months to save. Unfortunately, the leg couldn't be saved and Rebekah finally decided to have it removed but this has not made her lose her positive attitude.
And now that all of this is done I am just waiting for the money and interview requests to pour in.
This amazing display of energy and positivism has really inspired me and has made me think: if she can milk her injury for all it's worth, why can't I get a little attention and money for mine?
And so it is that I decided to write a letter to my ACL:
Hey ACL, it's me.I have also started posting corny puns in my Facebook:
I know that some times you feel like I'm tearing you apart, but I want to tell you that my feelings are true and that I never wanted to hurt you. I'm not saying that this isn't hard for me and I understand that you want to leave me; however, I don't want this thing we have to come to an end. Every day that I spend without you is a day where I am unstable and I feel like I can trip and fall at any moment. I'm not sure I can reach my full potential if you are not here. I love you, I really do, and you are crucial to my happiness. Please come back (and bring your friends MCL and cartilage back too).
Wishing you the best,
Magus
ACLimatizing myself to living without you is hard.After the previous pun I realized that it is really hard to make good puns with ACL so instead I decided to post some super positive images instead:
To fully appreciate the previous image watch it while listening to this.
And now that all of this is done I am just waiting for the money and interview requests to pour in.
Oct 19, 2014
We're All Gonna Die!!
Liberia, Sierra Leone and Guinea are in the middle of what Joanne Liu, president of Doctors Without Borders, named "the worst Ebola epidemic in history" and warns that "the world is losing the battle to contain it", Judge Jeaniné from Fox News says that "[the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention] don't know what the hell they are doing, they are lying to you or they are plain incompetent" and Dana Ford says that the "odds of survival are not good". So, should we be terrified or just really, really scared?
Lets look at the whole thing from a numbers perspective:
- As of October 14, 2014 there are 9,216 reported cases, of which 4,555 have died (49.4% death rate)
- Most of the deaths have been people who have no access to health care and who, for religious reasons, are not able to dispose of the body in the ways required to avoid spreading the disease.
- In countries with access to medicine the death rate is around 33%
At this point the part of our brain that tells us if something is bad is screaming "4,555 deaths! That's terrible!", but lets take a look at some of the other leading causes of death for this year: Just in the US, heart disease kills around 596,577 people every year and cancer kills another 576,691. We might think those aren't valid comparisons because cancer and heart disease aren't communicable diseases. In a year, the flu kills 53,826 people. Put another way: every single month, just in the US, influenza kills more people than the Ebola outbreak has killed in the whole world.
If you live in the US, in the past five years you have the same chance of dying of Ebola than you have of being stabbed by a rooster (I am doing my part by eating chicken wings in order to stop the stabbing chicken outbreak) or chocked to death by cockroaches. This year you are twice as likely to be killed by bears, than you are to be killed by Ebola.
But lets stop focusing on the US, and lets look a bit more closely at Liberia. So far in Liberia there have only been 2,484 reported deaths. Since Liberia has a population of 4,092,310 inhabitants it represents around 0.06% of the population. In comparison, the Black Death is said to have killed around half the population of the entire European continent. Joanne Liu and Dana Ford get away with the "worst Ebola outbreak" on the technicality that we don't really have any data for any other Ebola outbreak.
If you live in the US, in the past five years you have the same chance of dying of Ebola than you have of being stabbed by a rooster (I am doing my part by eating chicken wings in order to stop the stabbing chicken outbreak) or chocked to death by cockroaches. This year you are twice as likely to be killed by bears, than you are to be killed by Ebola.
But lets stop focusing on the US, and lets look a bit more closely at Liberia. So far in Liberia there have only been 2,484 reported deaths. Since Liberia has a population of 4,092,310 inhabitants it represents around 0.06% of the population. In comparison, the Black Death is said to have killed around half the population of the entire European continent. Joanne Liu and Dana Ford get away with the "worst Ebola outbreak" on the technicality that we don't really have any data for any other Ebola outbreak.
Not all is perfect; however, Wikipedia conveniently has a chart of the new cases contracted in Liberia day by day
What is the previous chart telling us? First it is telling us that the growth is exponential:
cases = 9.3249e0.0505days
Bad outbreaks generally tend to kill around 30% of the population in a country or region. If Liberia has 4,092,310 inhabitants we can solve for the number of days that it would take to have about 1,227,693 reported cases of Ebola:
The attentive reader will notice that my equation is only giving us reported cases, and not really deaths and that the number of deaths will only be half that because the mortality rate is 50%; however, it turns out to make little difference because the function is exponential and it would only take another 10 days or so for the number to double.
That sounds bad, but for the equation to work two things must continue to be true: victims will continue to receive inadequate treatment and the number of cases will continue to grow exponentially (both of which are very unlikely).
Places with health care have even less to worry about. The infection rate in the US seems to be pretty low; the family of the guy from Dallas will finish their quarantine in a couple hours (from the time of this writing) in what they are calling "a tremendous miracle" and of all the nurses and medical staff that treated the guy only two contracted the disease (even though the medical equipment they were using was insufficient).
Even if you do contract the disease, the death rate in places with health care seems to be much closer to 33%, and now that the whole world is aware of the outbreak it is very likely to go even further down.
So, should we be terrified or just really, really scared? Neither just yet, but we should still be careful, because if we ignore the problem for a few months then we will really have something to be scared of.
Oct 11, 2014
La [Censurado] y [Censurado]©
Hoy fui a ver el musical de la Bella y la Bestia de Disney.
El músical empieza con una bruja que, para enseñarle una lección a un principe, le pone una terrible maldición y lo convierte en un monstruo horrible (piensen Elba Esther Gordillo pero con cuernos).
Después cortamos a varios años después, en un pueblo cercano donde Belle, una inteligente super modelo que además es sumamente hacendosa, fiel y cariñosa es menospreciada por todo el pueblo (un problema común que enfrentan todas las mujeres atractivas).
En este pueblo también conocemos a Gaston, un presumido cazador que quiere casarse con Belle, a pesar de que todos sus intentos de conquistarla han sido fallidos, y al padre de Belle, un inventor que obviamente es considerado como un loco por todos los demás.
Mientras prueba una de sus invenciones, el padre de Belle se pierde en el bosque y termina llegando al castillo de la Bestia, quien inmediatamente lo captura. Al enterarse de esto Belle sale a rescatarlo, negociando con la Bestia que deje a su padre ir y a cambio, ella se quedaría en el castillo.
Ya estando en el castillo, Belle conoce a personajes inolvidables como Lumiere y Cogsworth que interpretan la famosísima canción Be Our Guest para invitarla a quedarse. Eventualmente Belle descubre que la Bestia en realidad no es tan malo y obviamente se enamora, rompiendo la maldición del principio y vivieron felices para siempre.
En fin, el musical me gustó muchísimo. Lo único que no me gustó es que no nos dejaron tomar fotos para proteger el copyright de Disney.
El músical empieza con una bruja que, para enseñarle una lección a un principe, le pone una terrible maldición y lo convierte en un monstruo horrible (piensen Elba Esther Gordillo pero con cuernos).
Después cortamos a varios años después, en un pueblo cercano donde Belle, una inteligente super modelo que además es sumamente hacendosa, fiel y cariñosa es menospreciada por todo el pueblo (un problema común que enfrentan todas las mujeres atractivas).
En este pueblo también conocemos a Gaston, un presumido cazador que quiere casarse con Belle, a pesar de que todos sus intentos de conquistarla han sido fallidos, y al padre de Belle, un inventor que obviamente es considerado como un loco por todos los demás.
Mientras prueba una de sus invenciones, el padre de Belle se pierde en el bosque y termina llegando al castillo de la Bestia, quien inmediatamente lo captura. Al enterarse de esto Belle sale a rescatarlo, negociando con la Bestia que deje a su padre ir y a cambio, ella se quedaría en el castillo.
Ya estando en el castillo, Belle conoce a personajes inolvidables como Lumiere y Cogsworth que interpretan la famosísima canción Be Our Guest para invitarla a quedarse. Eventualmente Belle descubre que la Bestia en realidad no es tan malo y obviamente se enamora, rompiendo la maldición del principio y vivieron felices para siempre.
La escenografía es simplemente inolvidable
En fin, el musical me gustó muchísimo. Lo único que no me gustó es que no nos dejaron tomar fotos para proteger el copyright de Disney.
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